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What to Know About Child Custody Laws in Illinois

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Children are the number one priority for parents. When spouses divorce, it’s up to the courts to decide which parent is granted parental responsibilities. As of 2016, Illinois’ child custody laws utilize the term “parental responsibilities” as a replacement for the familiar term of “custody.”

Rearing children is a momentous responsibility, one that requires time, energy, and good decision-making skills. Financial stability, too, goes a long way in meeting the needs of a child. The day-to-day care of a child also involves attention to their daily needs and wants.

Parental Responsibilities

Family-Walking-Kids-ParentsWhen a parent is responsible for a child, the adult must ensure their kids are properly nourished, go to school, clean and dressed properly, and has access to medical care. Aside from the practical responsibilities, adults also are tasked with more subjective forms of care.

A child must engage in play, and the parent is the one to arrange this. When the child misbehaves, the parent shoulders the weight of dispensing appropriate and fair punishment. Chores are to be delegated to children. Plus, when away, the parent must arrange for suitable supervision.

A parent who is granted parental responsibilities of a child is accountable for properly rearing the youth in accordance with accepted societal expectations, many of which are aforementioned. To achieve this end, joint and sole-decision making power are types of parental responsibilities that courts may grant.

What factors do the courts consider when deciding parental responsibilities?

Judges award parental responsibility based on the best interests of the child—rather than whether one parent is better or worse. Factors the courts consider include the desires of the parents to have parental responsibility and the wishes of the child when it comes to who has parental responsibility.

A child’s wish is given consideration but is rarely the last word. A mature child may voice a preference to remain with one parent in order to remain with friends, at the same school, or in a familiar setting. However, the courts have the final verdict when deciding parental responsibilities.

A good relationship with one parent is also an influencing factor. The courts evaluate the mental and physical well-being of those involved. The judge takes into serious account if one parent is a sex offender. Potential violence and domestic violence weigh heavily in the court’s decisions.

A parent afflicted by psychological or substance abuse problems is not immediately deemed unfit to receive parental responsibility. The courts will first evaluate if the individual is able to parent and willing to receive treatment. However, pursuing treatment does not automatically grant a parent the court’s favor.

Current Illinois parental responsibility laws view the mother and father as equally potential decision makers in the life of their child. When it comes to gender, Illinois laws are neutral. Historically, mothers were the primary caretakers, leaving fathers out in the cold when it came to winning custody battles.

What affects the court’s decision to grant joint or sole decision-making power?

Mother-Daughter-Smiling-LaughingFirst, it is important to understand the major decisions that affect the life of a child. Significant life decisions include schooling, religion, health matters, and extracurricular activities. When both parents can agree on decisions of significance, the judge is likely to grant joint decision-making power.

Belligerent spouses have many more reasons to quarrel when it comes to their child. Spouses who fail to get along when directing the life of their child are subject to a division of power. In hopes to circumvent future legal battles, judges will allocate sole decision-making power to one parent.

For more information on how to get sole custody of a child, check out this article.

Is it possible to change parental responsibilities?

If and when parents agree to make a change to their parental responsibilities, the judicial processes run much smoother and quicker. For legal changes to occur, the parents are expected to file court papers. Alterations to the responsibilities may be caused by various factors.

Parenting time changes, for instance. Additional triggers include instances when a different parent pays child support or makes the everyday decisions regarding the life of the child. Also included is when a parent decides upon a new living situation or way of raising the child.

When changes to parental responsibilities occur under argumentative circumstances, the battling parents must wait two years from the date of the original order of parental responsibilities to request a change—the exception is a situation when the child is in danger.

Father-with-Daughter-PlayingEspecially if the child is faring poorly in the current living situation, the courts will take swift action to remove the child from it. On the other hand, if a child thrives and is well-adjusted, no changes are made. A stable environment is important in the eyes of the courts.

What is parenting time?

Another type of parenting responsibility is parenting time. Prior to 2016, Illinois laws used the term “visitation”. Judges divide time spent with the child, which may not be equal, between the two parents. Parents are free to request alterations to parenting time without a minimum waiting period.

Work with a Child Custody Attorney

Children of divorce require attention and care, and their needs are always given priority among the parental responsibilities and child custody lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. Our experienced lawyers are invested in winning your custody battle fairly and with due diligence, so that your family returns to normal life quickly.

Our family lawyers remain up-to-date on the changing laws in Illinois; the result is that our child custody lawyers are prepared at every hearing to best represent our clients. Attorneys from Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. are skilled in presenting our clients in the most favorable light.

The dedication by the family law attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. is rewarded with winning countless parental responsibilities cases. We deliver incomparable expertise in the complex field of family law plus thoroughness during the investigation process to all our clients.

Cheri-Costa-Family-Child-Custody-Attorney-Oak-Lawn-IL-819x1024Consult a reliable family law attorney from the reputable firm of Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. if you expect to be involved in a child custody dispute. Our knowledgeable legal team serves the families living in the surrounding areas of Oak Lawn, Illinois.

Get a Free Consultation

To receive a free consultation for your parental responsibilities case, contact Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. at (708) 425-9530 or fill out a contact form. We look forward to hearing from you!

How to File for Child Support in Illinois

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Children must be supported by their parents, whether the parents are divorced, separated, or unmarried. In order to allow each child to be adequately supported by parents, states enforce certain laws applicable to child support.

What is Child Support?Mother-Daughter-Smiling-Laughing

Child support goes beyond covering the basics, such as food, clothing and shelter. Rather, the financial support one parent pays to the other covers a range of expenses that allows for the well-being of the child. Examples of how child support may be used include the following: education-related expenses (uniforms, books, tuition fees, tutors), medical costs (medical, dental and vision insurance), childcare expenses, basic entertainment (games, Internet, movies), extracurricular activities (Girl Scouts, summer camp, clubs) and even college expenses in some situations.

How Much Does Child Support Cost?

The amount of child support one parent pays the other is determined by a set of guidelines specific to the state of Illinois. The parent paying child support can expect to pay a percentage of his or her net income. For instance, in Illinois, courts follow a set percentage that increases with the number of children needing support. Non-custodial parents who pay child support in Illinois pay:

  • 20% for one child
  • 28% for two children
  • 32% for three children

This formula is set in place in Illinois; however most other states have updated their guidelines to include the net income of both parents. Illinois law may alter in the future, as well.

Adjustments to Child Support

Adjustments to the above child support formula may be made in the event of a child’s specific educational needs, the child’s financial needs and the physical and emotional condition of the child. A high-earning parent may pay more than the aforementioned guideline, while a parent with low-earning power will pay far less.

Parents will pay child support based on their net income, whether earned or unearned. Examples of income include investments, wages, commissions, and self-employment income. Parents who expect to pay child support can estimate the minimum amount of support expected by filling out the Child Support Obligation form, which is available on the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services Division of Child Support Services.

Department of Healthcare and Family Services

The Department of Healthcare and Family Services handles child support cases in Illinois. The Division of Child Support Services is an Illinois agency that is responsible for numerous child support agencies throughout the state. Any of these nine regional offices offers a locale for parents to travel to in order to file for child support in Illinois.

Illinois is heavily involved in child support cases, with the state establishing paternity, locating a noncustodial parent and enrolling a child in a health insurance program, among other scenarios relevant to the child.

Applying for Child Support

An application for child support services starts the process to obtain child support in Illinois. Keep in mind that going through the Division of Child Support Services only helps a parent receive child support and not custody or visitation rights.

An alternative to filling out an application with the Division of Child Support Services to file for child support is to hire a lawyer. A family law attorney is more expensive than going through the Illinois agency. However, a lawyer can take the child support case to court quicker and better represent you.

Once you fill out the online application for child support, it is necessary to deliver it personally, by mail or via fax. Government agencies establish deadlines for paperwork to be submitted. Be sure to adhere to any and all deadlines provided on your application. Any difficulties that prevent you from submitting the necessary paperwork on time can best be handled by contacting the Department of Healthcare and Family Services. Speak to the staff member and keep a record of the name of the person you spoke with, the date and time of the call, and any relevant notes.

Waiting for Approval

A request for child support is not answered immediately. Even a change in status will take time. Modifications in a current support order can only be achieved with proof of a parent’s change in circumstance.

In Illinois, child support is only permitted to continue until the child turns 18. If the child is still attending high school, the child support will terminate once the child graduates from high school or turns 19, whichever occurs first. Parents with children who are disabled or who are incapable of providing self-support may receive child support beyond the child’s 18th birthday. In Illinois, judges may even extend child support to help a parent with expenses for children attending college.

Family Law Attorneys

When your family will benefit from child support, contact the Oak Lawn area’s most trusted family law firm, Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. Our lawyers will advocate for you and your child, using legal expertise and over 50 years of combined experience.

Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.child-custody-oak-lawn

Our attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. investigate and research parental responsibilities, including how much time is spent with the child, who cares for them when the child is sick and who ensures the child is in school. The results from these investigations help our legal team build a strong case and be prepared for all situations that arise. We will help you, as a parent, receive a fair resolution as quickly as possible, allowing you and your child to return to your daily lives.

Laws change rapidly. The family law attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. stay up to date on current Illinois laws and apply them to your case. We are prepared for each hearing, as a result. While fighting for child support can be an uphill battle, the lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. will work with you throughout the process to offer a sense of relief.

We have a wealth of experience fighting fairly for the rights of mothers, fathers, and their children. A consultation is available to parents who are involved in child support cases.

9 Divorce Planning Tips

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Divorce. The mere mention of the term triggers a rollercoaster of negative factors, including a drain on finances and a seemingly unending toll on the emotions. The presence of children can make child custody battles exactly that—an important but exhausting fight.

Prepare for an impending divorce so you’re well-equipped with the armaments of combat. Divorce proceedings differ markedly, however, with some divorces being amiable, while others teeter on the brink of war. The type of divorce you will be involved in can determine how smoothly the process will go.

But overall, here’s how to prepare for divorce so there are no dreadful surprises along the way:

  1. Prepare financially
  2. Expect a lengthy process
  3. Seek emotional support
  4. Inventory property
  5. Close joint accounts
  6. Choose your divorce team
  7. Prepare for custody battles
  8. Find a good attorney

1. Prepare Financially

Spouses can expect to spend thousands of dollars on divorce. On average $15,500 covers the cost of attorney’s fees. At the lower end, spouses can get divorced for $1,000. Partners have even been known to spend $100,000 to legally split from their spouses.

The more elements that are involved in the divorce, the higher the cost of the divorce will be. Examples that drive divorce expenses upward include child custody, child support, spousal support or alimony, property division, and reimbursement claims.

Adequately plan to finance your divorce by setting aside a hefty portion of your earnings. Estimate your monthly budget. Cut unnecessary expenses. Ensure you have enough monetary assets to maintain your standard of living through a possibly lengthy divorce.

2. Expect a Lengthy Process

Aside from eating away at your expenses, a divorce might draw out for months. The estimated time it takes for a divorce to be completed starts with filing the petition and ends with settling or receiving a court judgment. Battling spouses can fight out a divorce over the course of 11 months on average. When several issues are involved, a divorce is likely to be resolved in 17.6 months. Couples who settled took about nine months to finalize the divorce. Whether your divorce is messy or straightforward, plan to spend time managing your part during the legal process.

3. Seek Emotional Support

A divorce can speed through several emotions, from anger and guilt to frustration and relief. Prepare for this emotional journey by seeking support from friends, a divorce support group or therapists.

Remember that during a divorce, intense emotions can lead to poor decision making. A circle of positive support can help you maintain a level head and help you approach divorce negotiations with calmness. Find a reliable network to support you through this life-changing event.

4. Inventory Property

Marital property can be identified as personal belongings, heirlooms, real estate, income, tools, jewelry and financial assets. During a divorce, marital property will be divided. Prepare for the division of property by documenting your belongings with digital photos. Photographic evidence of your personal property should be dated to prove ownership.

Keep all evidence of your belongings in a safe place away from your spouse. Examples of places to store evidence of marital property can be at work, a safe deposit box, with friends or family, and electronically. You’ll protect your marital property in the event your spouse attempts to claim that the items are not lawfully yours.

5. Close Joint Accounts

While married, spouses commonly share bank accounts. Open an individual financial account and close any joint accounts as soon as you make the decision to file for divorce. Electronic account statements sent to a new email address will offer you added security and protection from your spouse.

6. Choose Your Divorce Team

Carefully select reliable people to take you through the stressful duration of a divorce. A divorce team might consist of a mediator, judge, financial planner, mental health professional to assess child custody situations, and a dependable divorce lawyer.

Navigating a divorce successfully requires the help of others. Trust your team of intelligent and experienced people, who are on your side to help you achieve the best outcome.

7. Prepare for Custody Battles

When you expect custody disputes, prepare well in advance. Show the court how involved you are in your children’s lives. Note who takes the children to appointments and extracurricular activities. The children’s school can provide documentation for who attended parent-teacher conferences.

When relevant, drug evaluations and police reports can demonstrate why a spouse should not have custody of the children.

9. Find a Good Attorney

As a legal process, divorce requires the services of a lawyer. Divorce proceedings may even be accomplished with a mediator. Complicated divorces especially, however, require the expertise of a divorce attorney. Negotiations can be complex, and an experienced lawyer can help you navigate through the paperwork and processes.

Experts recommend interviewing at least three attorneys who are experienced in family law and the specific type of divorce you need before settling on one to represent you. A lawyer who is a good negotiator, who is knowledgeable about the changing laws and who communicates well is invaluable during the divorce proceedings. Plus, an ideal lawyer will educate you on the divorce process and creatively solve arising issues.

A trust or estate lawyer can offer recommendations for reputable divorce lawyers. Local attorneys also can be found via online websites that feature valuable client reviews.

Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

A local divorce attorney is essential to ensure the lawyer is experienced in the judicial system in your area. If you live in the Oak Lawn, IL community and are planning for a divorce, contact the area’s most trusted law firm, Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

Our experienced divorce attorneys have successfully worked on cases revolving around spousal support, child support, domestic violence, division of property and numerous other aspects of divorce, like post-decree issues and visitation. The lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. are thoroughly knowledgeable in the various current laws to offer the best solutions possible for each unique case.

Once you are ready and prepared for divorce, you can count on the legal team at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. to thoroughly answer any questions you have about the legal process.

How to Get Sole Child Custody in Illinois

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While still possible, obtaining sole custody for your child will take a lot of effort. Due to Illinois’ preference of joint custody with the condition that both parents are able to contribute to the child’s best interest, keeping them away from your ex can be difficult.

But the child custody attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. in Oak Lawn, IL can provide some assistance for your case. With over 50 years of combined legal experience, we can help you reach an effective solution that works in the best interest of both you and your child.

The Allocation of Parental ResponsibilitiesHow-to-Get-Full-Child-Custody-in-Illinois

Due to recent changes in Illinois’ law, the term “child custody” is no longer used. It has been replaced with a more relatable term called allocation of parental responsibilities. This can either mean that one or both parents have physical and legal custody for the child. But the parent that retains full responsibility is allowed the right to make major decisions on the child’s behalf.

On the other hand, having full responsibility doesn’t guarantee that the other parent is not allowed to be with the child. Known as parenting time, the other parent has the right to be with the child unsupervised, given that the child’s mental, physical, moral, nor emotional health is not in danger.

How to Get Full Parental Responsibility

In order to gain full parental responsibility, or child custody, you must prove that the other parent is unfit. This can also be difficult due to the fact that the judge typically favors the allocation of parental responsibility to both parents.

So to support your argument that the parent is unfit, you will need some evidence. Documentation such as medical bills, pictures, email responses, police reports, and other paperwork can work in your favor of proving that the other parent is a danger to your child.

Additional documentation that supports your position to get full parental responsibility can also help to prove:

  • Their poor employment record. If a parent cannot maintain a job to support their child’s needs, they will most likely not be granted parental responsibilities. But keep in mind that this will not affect their parenting time with the child.
  • Unsuitable living conditions. If the living situation of the other parent proves to be unhealthy or unsafe for the child, this can award more credit your way towards sole custody.
  • If there is any record of physical, sexual, emotional, or drug abuse, this will most likely be your awarding factor of full child custody.
  • The parent must be emotionally and physically capable of providing for the child’s best interest to gain custody of any type.

Show You Are the Better Parent for Full Child Custody

Despite proving the other parent unfit for gaining any kind of custody, this doesn’t always mean you will get full parental responsibility. So you will also need to prove that you are the better parent.

Below includes a list of steps you can take to support your case for gaining full child custody:

  • Discuss the best interest of your child. Prove your awareness of your child’s routines by talking about their daily schedule, extracurricular activities, and habits.
  • Demonstrate your commitment for their psychological wellbeing. Only if appropriate, discuss your intentions of allowing the other parent ample time and influence on child-related decisions.
  • Dress formally for court. In addition to a professional appearance, the proper attire will support your case in proving yourself fit for full child custody.
  • Be ready to discuss the specifics of your child’s best interests. Simply pouring out your love and commitment to the wellbeing of your child won’t be enough; the judge and court must hear what are the specific child’s needs, why, and how you plan to support them.
  • Have all paperwork and supporting evidence ready before court.
  • Practice defending and supporting your case before court.

Important tip: Never shoot down the other parent. Let them prove their inability to care for the child through their current behavior.

Get Professional Help from an Experienced Attorney

In extreme cases where the other parent is abusive on more levels than one, the court will almost always allocate full responsibility of the child to the parent as long as they prove themselves fit. But in many situations, the effort to get full child custody will be much harder.

Schedule a ConsultationCheri-Costa-Family-Child-Custody-Attorney-Oak-Lawn-IL

Don’t take any chances when striving for full child custody. Contact the child custody attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. where we can offer years of experience, knowledge of current laws, and additional resources to support your case. Our lawyers have won numerous allocation of parental responsibilities for both divorcing and single parents and are more than willing to help you win yours.

Call Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. at (708) 425-9530 or fill out a form to set up an initial consultation. We look forward to working with you soon!

How to Get Over a Divorce

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Getting a divorce can be devastating and seem like the end of the world – almost like a part of you is gone. Or that you lost your best friend. Many people often will feel lonely, self-loathing, anxiety, and even depression after a divorce.

But the worst part is that some individuals will do things they may regret later, such as reacting irrationally or destroying property. But allowing this emotional pain and stress to consume yourself will only make everything worse, causing you to lose more than your spouse.

Divorce Doesn’t End Everything

Getting-Through-Divorce

Despite how you may feel about this change, never forget that a divorce doesn’t mean the end of the world. As much as you may feel like this is the end of all things good, it’s not. You haven’t lost everything, and that’s crucial to remember. You are only in the transition phase to a new life, and while it may seem scary, it won’t be so bad once you get through it.

Although some divorces are more complicated than others. For divorcees who shared children and assets, like a home, car, or boat, having to maintain contact with the other partner can get stressful very quickly. This can also make the transition phase longer and more difficult.

But this doesn’t mean that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. The end of one event will only lead to the beginning of another. So to get to that new beginning, you need to let go of the past, meaning pushing away the emotional pain and focusing on your own future.

If you had children or shared assets from this marriage, you can speak to a divorce or child custody attorney to relieve some stress when it comes to determining the custody of the children and the division of the property.

10 of the Best Ways to Get Over a Divorce:

Rest assured, the quicker you embrace these habits, the faster you will move towards a new, healthy lifestyle. Your ex-spouse will be a thing of the past and your future self will thank you for moving on as quickly as you did.

1. It’s OK to grieve after a divorce

Dealing with grief and loss can be one of the most difficult feelings to overcome in life. It can also lead to isolation, self-sabotage, and depression. It can be hard for others to help the grieving overcome this process because everyone handles this emotion differently.

Some divorcees can easily overcome this issue, quickly finding distractions to help them move on. For others, not so much. But no other couple will have experienced the same relationship as you and your ex, so each situation is completely unique.

How-to-Get-Through-Divorce

Even if you are one who finds it particularly difficult to overcome grief, it’s still healthy to allow yourself to experience it. Why? Because ignoring it will only make the feeling stronger, making it worse in the long run. So the best way to handle these emotions is to let yourself feel it now to get it out of system rather than letting them build up over time.

2. Delete everything of your ex off your phone

According to Time magazine, the average American checks their phone about 50 times a day. And many phones are filled with pictures, texts, and even videos of their significant others. As you can imagine, these are the last things you need bringing you down. The best thing to do during a divorce is to delete everything of and from them from your phone.

The only exception to this rule is keeping their information when it concerns your children. Other than that, seeing their name everywhere in your phone will only cause more pain.

As with all emails, never search your inbox and read them over and over. One of the most common mistakes is overanalyzing what they meant, either taking it as a hint to get back together or something worse.

The same goes with ridding yourself of everything else given to you by your ex. Especially items with significant value – they will vary by person and you will know which items – the sooner you get rid of it, the better.

3. Stay positive

Allowing “what if” and “If only” thoughts to consume your mind will only make things worse. The process of divorce often plays mind games, but never let yourself believe any of these negative thoughts. Common examples include, “I’ll never find someone to love me again,” and “I’m going to be alone forever.” That’s never true because life is full of surprises!

The healing process is not always easy but it’s crucial to stay positive. If you believe good things will happen to you, they will. In ten or fifteen years from now, you may look back at yourself now and feel good about doing what was best for you.

One good way to think about it is to think back to a previous breakup and how you were able to get over it then. What did you do to get over it? The situation you are in now is similar and it’s important to remember that you will heal after this divorce. Life is full of ups and downs but the beauty of it is that life always moves on, even when you feel it won’t.

4. Time heals all emotional pain

This is one of the most important concepts to keep in mind: time heals all. Surely this isn’t the only time you’ve felt grief. If you think about the other difficult times in your life – such as being without a job and unable to pay bills, a previous breakup, or missing out on an opportunity – and how you got through it, it can ease some stress.

Surely this situation will be different than all the others, but if you compare the emotion of heartbreak, grief, or stress you felt then, it can make things feel a little more bearable now. You won’t just be hoping for things to get better, but will have past experiences to prove that it’s true.

There are actually studies that prove that people are stronger when they are in a suffering stage. It may not come right away, but someday, you will wake up and be in a much better mood than the previous few days. You just need to have the patience and know that your day is coming.

5. Don’t regret the marriageGetting-Through-Divorce-with-Kids-BKTuckerLaw

Many divorcees will view their marriage as a “waste of time” or a “failed relationship.” Thoughts like these can be easy to focus on, and they will come naturally. But they are not true.

Did you know that if you keep dwelling on these negative thoughts, it will affect your willingness to take risks when you are ready for a new relationship? Just because your marriage didn’t last, it doesn’t mean that you wasted all that time and investment.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Did you learn something?
  • Do you have any happy or positive memories from that relationship?
  • Did you have any kids with that person?

If the answers to any of those questions are “yes,” then surely the marriage wasn’t a waste of time.

6. Learn from the past

Going back to learning experiences, personal growth is one of the most valuable assets you can get out of a relationship. Think about what you learned about yourself, from the other person, and other people throughout your marriage. If you also think about who you were before entering that relationship, you may be surprised at the difference in what you know now versus then.

  • Have you changed yourself for the better?
  • Have you made any mistakes that turned into learning experiences?
  • Are there new opportunities for you now that you didn’t have before?
  • Did you learn about others that can help in a future relationship?

Everyone can learn from their experiences, taking and applying this knowledge into a future relationship that can be successful in the long run.

7. Focus on yourselfRediscover-Yourself-After-Divorce

After long-lasting marriages, it may feel as if you forgot who you were as an individual. This can be a shocking experience after being married for so many years. It can also feel scary to be alone after spending so much time with the same person. But thinking about how much time you spent with them and being alone now is natural.

But when you find yourself feeling like this, whether you’re alone at home, at work, or out with friends, remember that your past relationship doesn’t define you as a person. Your relationship never made up who you are, including your routine, your habits, likes and dislikes, etc. Getting into a new routine can be hard, yes, but you can do it without your ex.

To help get into this new routine, it’s okay to be a little selfish: focus on you.

  • Do what you want to do
  • Stay out late
  • Adopt a pet to have a companion
  • Take a vacation. Get a hobby

You don’t have to ask permission from anyone.

Remember that you need to go easy on yourself to ease into the life of being single again. Go out and discover new things. The world can be scary to dive in alone, but you can use it as your motivation to rediscover yourself as a person and get excited about your future.

8. Appreciate what you do have and what you learned

When you’re still heartbroken and/or stressed out about the divorce, it’s natural to only focus on what you have lost. But by doing this, you are only punishing yourself. The pain alone from a divorce is enough to deal with, so you never want to add to it by thinking about the physical things you lost.

So you may not have gotten the TV or the brand new car, but take a moment to think of everything you do have. These things don’t even have to be tangible; they can be things you achieved. To help with the process, write down a list of 10 things you really are proud of and maybe just not giving yourself enough credit. Even if you can’t, ask someone who knows you well to name a few for you. At times like this, family and friends can see more about you than you can yourself.

9. Remember the reason for your divorcedivorce-lawyers-Oak-Lawn-IL

It is common for couples to feel the need to get back together after a breakup. You may even feel it while you’re are grieving and it can be a struggle to not act on the urge to contact them. This feeling can feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Like you are afraid of facing the world alone, devastated, or incapable of moving on.

So when you find yourself in this situation, think back about why it is that you divorced. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Were you unhappy while you were with that person?
  • Were they abusive?
  • Did they constantly do things that hurt you?
  • Did they never listen to you?

If you were the one that proposed divorce, think back about how you felt about the marriage and why you decided to leave. Thinking back to unhappy memories can be stressful and difficult, but it is also the best way to prevent those feelings from happening again.

But even after thinking about it, and you still want to get back together, ask yourself why. If the reasons that come to mind don’t sound rational, be honest with yourself and keep pushing yourself to focus on your new life without your ex.

10. Don’t lose hope in others

If your ex was abusive, made you unhappy, or betrayed your trust, the feeling can be devastating. You feel like you never want to love or trust anyone again after what just happened. Some divorcees may even feel like the entire world is set on making them miserable. So it’s understandable that after your heartache, you will do anything you can to prevent this feeling from happening again.

Emotions such as these are normal and it’s ok to distance yourself from others for a while. But thinking negatively about everyone else from a bad experience with one person is not the best way to go. Never let the pain caused by another person to impact potential relationships you may have with other people.

At times like these, spend more time with your friends. They can help you to restore faith in humanity and open yourself up to new relationships from which you can also benefit. So instead of going straight home after work, text a friend and take advantage of happy hour at your favorite restaurant. Creating new memories can ease the stress and help you move forward towards your new life.

Additional Help for Getting Through a Divorce

Going through a divorce can be one of life’s highest hurtles. But remember that you are not alone. There are others who are dealing with the same stress and grief at this very moment. Know that you also have friends and family that can help you overcome these emotions. Studies have also shown that individuals who spend more time with others are able to come out of a divorce faster than those who don’t.

But getting through the emotional stress of a divorce is just one part. There are also financial difficulties, property division, and in many cases, children involved.  Due to the fact these situations must be sorted out, maintaining contact with your ex can be difficult, especially when they seem unreasonable.

Work with a Divorce Attorney

On the other hand, working with a divorce attorney can help sort out these complications. The experienced lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. have over 50 years of combined experience when it comes to divorce and child custody.Berry-K-Tucker-&-Associates-Ltd-Oak-Lawn-IL

They will provide you with their undivided attention, handling your case with professionalism and assertion to help you obtain what you deserve. They have also worked with many diverse cases and won with their knowledge, resources, determination to establish the best solution for their clients.

To schedule a consultation with Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. give us a call at (708) 425-9530.

Every Case is Unique

Fill out the form below to submit your case for a free consultation.

5210 West 95th Street
Oak Lawn, IL 60453

708-425-9530

708-425-2454

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