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9 Signs Your Partner Wants a Divorce

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As people change over time, so do marriages. But it’s up to both partners to continue nurturing the relationship by spending time together, trying new activities, and continuing hobbies that you both enjoy together to keep the spark alive.

But if you do notice them starting to pull away, or they’re just not as excited about the relationship as they used to be, it can feel immediately nerve-wracking and stressful as you begin to scrutinize their behaviors, wondering if they’re considering divorce. As awful as it sounds, it’s important to recognize these signs right away to either save your marriage or determine the next steps for going your separate ways.Two-People-Sitting-on-a-Beach

Here are common signs that your partner wants a divorce:

1. Unable to Resolve Problems

Every marriage has its problems but it’s how well they can be resolved that will determine if the marriage can be successful. If you are unable to resolve problems or just avoid them, the marriage is in trouble. If either partner feels that they are disrespected because of their ways, they will lose respect for the other spouse, only leading to additional conflicts down the road.

2. Emotional Disengagement

Caring for one another is one of the most important factors of a successful marriage. The longer the emotional distance between each partner, the greater the odds that the marriage is going south. In fact, many divorcing couples will say they just “fell out of love,” or they just stopped caring.

 3. Lack of Attention to the Marriage

Marriages require constant attention. If either one of you works 60+ hours a week to pay bills while the other is at home with the kids all day, the end results won’t be good. If the couple also gets into a fight, one of you may feel less inclined to go home right away and accept an invitation to go out for a drink after work. What comes after that will surely only hurt the marriage.

4. They Care More About their Appearance All of a Sudden

When a spouse is planning for a divorce, they will go the extra mile to improve their dating prospects. You may see them dressing up more often before going out, exercising, buying new clothes, eating more healthy, getting a stylish haircut, or anything to make them look more attractive.

Many women who usually stay home and are considering a divorce may start looking for jobs to meet new people and save money to move out.

5. Financial Problems

A couple may get along perfectly, but if one is a saver and the other is a spender, it’s a hard problem to overcome. You may be able to get away with separate bank accounts, but dividing the money and expenses can be difficult when determining what’s fair.

Some spouses may even be tempted to lie about their income and spending habits, such as getting a raise and not informing their partner.

6. No Communication

While miscommunication can lead to a fight, which often leads to lack of communication to avoid conflict, it can feel like an improvement. But it’s just a duct-tape solution.

This is a sign that both of you have given up on the relationship and would rather stay together for the sake of avoiding divorce or you are afraid of ending up alone.

7. Being Disrespectful

Losing respect for one another is a sure sign that the marriage is in trouble. Simply not listening, showing empathy, or disregarding anything involved in eachother’s lives just means trouble. Once a marriage hits this point, it will take a lot of work on both ends to resolve the issue. Many end up in divorce.

8. Lying to Your Spouse

Once lying is involved in the marriage, it can take a long time for both partners to trust eachother again. Second, if there is no open or honest communication with either of you, it will only be a matter of time before you are both filing for divorce. Adultery is a common factor tied to this behavior which will ultimately send the relationship to the dumps.

Unfortunately the internet presents a lot of opportunities for dishonesty. Dating sites easily allow spouses to quickly find dates without their spouses ever finding out.

9. Never Listening

If your spouse is trying to tell you something that is bothering her or something exciting in their life, do you listen? Many women often try to solve their problems by talking about them, but if you stop listening, they may stop telling you, but they may also stop caring. But if you start giving her advice instead, she may also feel declined to tell you about future problems.

Are They Really Considering a Divorce?

There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, and chances are one of these signs has come up in yours. But experiencing too many of the signs above are the perfect ingredients for a failing marriage.

In this case, it’s crucial to reach out to your partner about your differences. Otherwise you may be left wondering if they really are considering divorce and it will only leave you frustrated in the long run.

Work with a Divorce Attorney

While some marriages can be saved, it may be in the best interest of others for both of you to go your separate ways. If you feel that divorce is the best solution in your case or your spouse has presented you with divorce, it’s important to reach out to a family attorney.

An attorney that is experienced can allow the process to run efficiently and effectively for both sides. As they have been through the process many times, they can help you to divide your assets and property with minimal interruption. Many law firms also assist in child custody, allowing you to keep attorney fees efficient and save time in the divorce process.

Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

Cheri-Costa-Family-Divorce-Attorney-Oak-Lawn-IL

If you are considering a divorce and live in the southwest Chicago suburbs, reach out to the divorce attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. Our lawyers have over 50 years of combined legal experience and have assisted in a number of diverse cases.

We have worked with both men and women when it comes to resolving their case, establishing a solution that works in their best interest. Our attorneys also ensure to stay updated in all changes to the law, allowing us the greatest chance of effectively dividing assets and property.

Schedule a Consultation

To schedule an initial consultation with one of our divorce attorneys, contact Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. at (708) 425-9530. We look forward to working with you soon!

What to Ask a Divorce Attorney During the Consultation

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If you have a scheduled consultation coming up and you’re clueless as far as what to ask your divorce attorney, you’ll definitely want to figure it out ahead of time. In fact, getting as much information as possible during the consultation can save a lot of time and money in the divorce process.Client-Talking-to-Attorney-in-Office

Here are some vital questions for which you will want answers if you are going for your first consultation:

What is Your Fee Structure?

The first and one of the most important questions you will want to ask is what is their fee structure. Do they charge for each hour spent on your case or one flat fee? Keep in mind that divorces can also last years, so it is important to also ask about any financial implications.

What are the Divorce Procedures?

Every state will have different divorce procedures in which must be followed by both you and your attorney. The exact length of time necessary to complete the divorce will depend on the complexity of your situation (child custody, property division, disagreements with both parties, etc.). Be sure to inform the divorce attorney of all aspects in your divorce so they can give you the most accurate estimate and timeline of your divorce.

Keep in mind that if you work full-time or have other needs that require the majority of your time, knowing the requirements and commitments of the divorce ahead of time will help while you prepare.

What if I Need Alimony?

Each state will differ in regards to allowing a spouse to seek alimony from the other. Some cases will depend on the length of the marriage, whether a spouse stays home with the child, or the difference in income between the spouses.

Whether you are seeking alimony or your spouse is seeking it from you, let your attorney know during the initial consultation so they can inform you of any liabilities that can occur during the divorce.

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What about Child Custody?

If you are not able to agree with your spouse as to who will have custody of your children, ask about the factors that are most important to the judge when determining custody. This can include income, the amount of time spent with the child, how involved they are in their children’s lives, their ability to provide for the children, and more. You should also ask about your chances of having custody of your children.

It is often that child custody issues can prolong the divorce process, so it would be good to know which issues to surrender to and which to challenge. You can also ask about alternative dispute resolution, such as a mediator or arbitration if you want to avoid going to trial.

How Should We Split Marital Assets?

Many states will differ in regards to marital assets, but their process is pretty simple as far as allocating joint assets to each spouse. Generally, they will state the ownership of each spouse. Just make sure to ask your attorney about the procedure for splitting marital assets in your state.

How Long Have You Been Practicing Divorce Law?

Having an experienced attorney is extremely important, especially if your situation is more complicated. Knowing how many years they have been practicing, their specialties, with which attorney you will be working, the number of cases they have won, and other general information about the firm.

Who Will be Working on My Case? And Will You Be Involved as Well?

An experienced family law attorney will often work with a team to gather as much information as possible. But it is important to know who exactly will be working on your case and to have their contact information if you have any updates or questions throughout the divorce. You will also want to know who will be in charge and how you will be billed for that work.

If I Call and Nobody Answers, How Long Will it Take to Get a Response?

Asking this question during the consultation might seem silly, but some firms are busier than others. It would be good to pay attention to the amount of clients present in the office and if the attorneys always seem busy. A good divorce lawyer will answer all emails and calls within 24 hours, or will have their staff respond earlier.

How Familiar are You with the Local Courthouses and Judges?

If you are in a situation where mediation is not an option, having an attorney who knows the local judges and court system well is important. Having someone who knows what judges favor, their process, and even the best times to reach them can be very helpful to your case.

Will I Get Copies of Documents Generated Throughout My Divorce?

A good attorney will provide you with all copies of documents generated during the divorce process. They also shouldn’t be forgetting to send documents to you after receiving a settlement offer from your spouse’s attorney.

Is There a Retainer and How Much Is It?

This is extremely important as well as having the money to pay the fee upfront. Ask what it covers and if you reconcile or switch attorneys, ask whether the retainer will be refunded or not. Some attorneys also charge additional retainers when the initial one is depleted.

Work with An Experienced Divorce AttorneyCheri-Costa-Family-Child-Custody-Attorney-Oak-Lawn-IL

Finding an experienced attorney that stays within your budget can be difficult but not impossible. Generally, it is recommended to find one that you can trust, has experience in cases similar to yours, and is responsive to your emails and calls.

One such law firm that can provide these to you is Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. Our divorce attorneys have over 50 years of combined legal experience, working with clients in unique situations while working to establish the best solutions. Our specializations cover many aspects, including child custody, domestic violence, property division, father’s rights, pre- and post-nuptial agreements, alimony, post-decree issues, and more.

If you are contemplating getting a divorce, or if your spouse has served you with divorce, you will definitely want to work with an attorney. Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. can provide you with the answers you need while determining what is in your best interest.

Give us a call at (708) 425-9530 for more information about our law firm or to schedule your consultation. We are located in Oak Lawn, IL and look forward to serving you soon!

Illinois Divorce Law

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Divorce is oftentimes one of the most challenging events in an individual’s life. A once-meaningful relationship has turned sour, and the family falls apart. Enduring the uphill battle of divorce proceedings is an emotional and financial struggle. Having a general understanding of the basics of Illinois divorce law can somewhat ease the complicated process of navigating through the legal system.

Uncontested Divorce

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Many states will vary according to divorce law. here is what Illinois states.

If you and your spouse agree to dissolve the union and are on friendly terms, an uncontested divorce will save each party significant hardship. You’ll avoid going to trial if all matters related to the divorce can be handled by filing a joint petition and attending the final hearing.

Certain qualifications must be met for both spouses to proceed with an uncontested divorce. These criteria include but are not limited to:

  • The length of marriage has been eight years or less.
  • The couple have no children, and the wife is not pregnant.
  • Both parties have lived apart for six months and are separated.
  • The right to receive alimony is permanently waived by both spouses.
  • Either spouse has lived in Illinois for 90 days prior to filing for divorce.

A joint simplified dissolution requires both spouses to agree on all the major points of the divorce.

While a friendly divorce is rather uncommon, contested divorces appear more frequently before a judge.

Filing for Divorce

Spouses who wish to legally separate ways should start by filing for divorce. The individual who first files the case is known as the plaintiff. The defendant is the spouse who must answer the initial petition within 30 days.

At least one party must be a resident of Illinois for 90 days in order to file for dissolution in the state. A non-resident spouse, who is not under the jurisdiction of the Illinois court, cannot be ordered by the court to pay for child support, alimony, or debts.

Length of Divorce Proceedings

The divorce process is lengthy. Paperwork alone takes one month to complete before receiving a final court date. An unresolved case will go to trial. Divorces can linger in court for a minimum of one year.

Maiden Name Restoration

A spouse whose divorce is granted can request that her maiden or former name be reinstated.

Divorces Based on Fault

Illinois recognizes several faults as being grounds for divorce. These marital misconducts include, but are not limited to:

  • Adultery
  • Impotence
  • Bigamy
  • An attempt by one spouse on the other spouse’s life
  • Drug or alcohol addictions
  • Transference of an STD from one spouse to the other
  • Felony or other criminal conviction
  • Abandonment

Fault-based grounds like these rarely make an impact on the divorce outcomes, since the division of property and alimony decisions enforced by the courts do not rely on them. Rather, the judge will consider the faults when evaluating matters surrounding child custody and visitation.

No-Fault Divorce

On the other hand, a no-fault divorce means that neither spouse is at fault for the dissolution of the marriage. Requirements for a no-fault divorce in Illinois involve four simple criteria:

  • The spouses have separated, living apart for at least two years (spouses can still live under the same roof and be separated; however, they must demonstrate that they live separate and apart)
  • Irreconcilable differences (one of the most commonly heard reasons for divorce)
  • Efforts toward reconciliation have failed
  • The family would not benefit from any possible reconciliation

No-fault grounds for divorce do not require proof of any marital misdoings.

Property Division

Illinois divorce law is established with the aim to provide equitable and fair divisions of property—which does not necessarily mean equal. Any property, such as stocks or pension benefits, acquired by either spouse after the marriage is deemed marital property. Marital property is divided according to several criteria (none of which consider marital misconduct), such as

  • The length of the marriage
  • Each spouse’s contribution toward the acquisition or maintenance of the marital property
  • The economic state of each spouse when the division of property becomes effective

When children are involved, the court may set aside a portion of the estates in a trust or fund to support the overall welfare of any minor or dependent children.

Child Custody

Parents of children who have resided in Illinois for at least six consecutive months may be granted custody of the children. Child custody decisions are evaluated and made by the courts. The judge’s determinations are based on a set of relevant factors, such as

  • The preferences of the parents as to custody
  • The preferences of the child(ren) as to his or her custodian
  • Any relationships between the parents, siblings or significant adults that would affect the child’s welfare
  • The child’s adjustment to a new school or community
  • Any presence of repeated abuse
  • Whether or not a parent is a sex offender
  • The physical and mental well-being of all parties involved

When determining child custody, Illinois courts favor joint custody, especially when the situation will be in the best interests of the minor.

Help with Illinois Divorce Law

Spouses entangled in the intricate web of divorce, with its seemingly limitless laws and requirements, should seek the services of an experienced family law attorney, one who can provide a clear path toward marital dissolution.

Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. retains a staff of experienced divorce attorneys. Our team offers over 50 years of combined experience in all areas of divorce law. Our lawyers stay knowledgeable about current Illinois divorce laws and practices, which are updated by lawmakers over time.

The Attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

Divorce-Attorneys-Gavel-American-Flag

If you have any questions or need help with your divorce, give the attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. a call and we’ll schedule an initial consultation.

The Berry K. Tucker & Associates Ltd. team of divorce lawyers serve our clients in several areas revolving around divorce. Child support, visitation, spousal support, and division of property are common areas that the divorce lawyers handle with ease and dedication. Other relevant areas of expertise include pre- and post-nuptial agreements and post-decree issues.

While it helps to be familiar with Illinois divorce law, you can rely on the divorce lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. to manage your case with professionalism, experience in Illinois divorce law and commitment to your case.

Give us a call at (708) 425-9530 in Oak Lawn, IL.

9 Divorce Planning Tips

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Divorce. The mere mention of the term triggers a rollercoaster of negative factors, including a drain on finances and a seemingly unending toll on the emotions. The presence of children can make child custody battles exactly that—an important but exhausting fight.

Prepare for an impending divorce so you’re well-equipped with the armaments of combat. Divorce proceedings differ markedly, however, with some divorces being amiable, while others teeter on the brink of war. The type of divorce you will be involved in can determine how smoothly the process will go.

But overall, here’s how to prepare for divorce so there are no dreadful surprises along the way:

  1. Prepare financially
  2. Expect a lengthy process
  3. Seek emotional support
  4. Inventory property
  5. Close joint accounts
  6. Choose your divorce team
  7. Prepare for custody battles
  8. Find a good attorney

1. Prepare Financially

Spouses can expect to spend thousands of dollars on divorce. On average $15,500 covers the cost of attorney’s fees. At the lower end, spouses can get divorced for $1,000. Partners have even been known to spend $100,000 to legally split from their spouses.

The more elements that are involved in the divorce, the higher the cost of the divorce will be. Examples that drive divorce expenses upward include child custody, child support, spousal support or alimony, property division, and reimbursement claims.

Adequately plan to finance your divorce by setting aside a hefty portion of your earnings. Estimate your monthly budget. Cut unnecessary expenses. Ensure you have enough monetary assets to maintain your standard of living through a possibly lengthy divorce.

2. Expect a Lengthy Process

Aside from eating away at your expenses, a divorce might draw out for months. The estimated time it takes for a divorce to be completed starts with filing the petition and ends with settling or receiving a court judgment. Battling spouses can fight out a divorce over the course of 11 months on average. When several issues are involved, a divorce is likely to be resolved in 17.6 months. Couples who settled took about nine months to finalize the divorce. Whether your divorce is messy or straightforward, plan to spend time managing your part during the legal process.

3. Seek Emotional Support

A divorce can speed through several emotions, from anger and guilt to frustration and relief. Prepare for this emotional journey by seeking support from friends, a divorce support group or therapists.

Remember that during a divorce, intense emotions can lead to poor decision making. A circle of positive support can help you maintain a level head and help you approach divorce negotiations with calmness. Find a reliable network to support you through this life-changing event.

4. Inventory Property

Marital property can be identified as personal belongings, heirlooms, real estate, income, tools, jewelry and financial assets. During a divorce, marital property will be divided. Prepare for the division of property by documenting your belongings with digital photos. Photographic evidence of your personal property should be dated to prove ownership.

Keep all evidence of your belongings in a safe place away from your spouse. Examples of places to store evidence of marital property can be at work, a safe deposit box, with friends or family, and electronically. You’ll protect your marital property in the event your spouse attempts to claim that the items are not lawfully yours.

5. Close Joint Accounts

While married, spouses commonly share bank accounts. Open an individual financial account and close any joint accounts as soon as you make the decision to file for divorce. Electronic account statements sent to a new email address will offer you added security and protection from your spouse.

6. Choose Your Divorce Team

Carefully select reliable people to take you through the stressful duration of a divorce. A divorce team might consist of a mediator, judge, financial planner, mental health professional to assess child custody situations, and a dependable divorce lawyer.

Navigating a divorce successfully requires the help of others. Trust your team of intelligent and experienced people, who are on your side to help you achieve the best outcome.

7. Prepare for Custody Battles

When you expect custody disputes, prepare well in advance. Show the court how involved you are in your children’s lives. Note who takes the children to appointments and extracurricular activities. The children’s school can provide documentation for who attended parent-teacher conferences.

When relevant, drug evaluations and police reports can demonstrate why a spouse should not have custody of the children.

9. Find a Good Attorney

As a legal process, divorce requires the services of a lawyer. Divorce proceedings may even be accomplished with a mediator. Complicated divorces especially, however, require the expertise of a divorce attorney. Negotiations can be complex, and an experienced lawyer can help you navigate through the paperwork and processes.

Experts recommend interviewing at least three attorneys who are experienced in family law and the specific type of divorce you need before settling on one to represent you. A lawyer who is a good negotiator, who is knowledgeable about the changing laws and who communicates well is invaluable during the divorce proceedings. Plus, an ideal lawyer will educate you on the divorce process and creatively solve arising issues.

A trust or estate lawyer can offer recommendations for reputable divorce lawyers. Local attorneys also can be found via online websites that feature valuable client reviews.

Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

A local divorce attorney is essential to ensure the lawyer is experienced in the judicial system in your area. If you live in the Oak Lawn, IL community and are planning for a divorce, contact the area’s most trusted law firm, Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd.

Our experienced divorce attorneys have successfully worked on cases revolving around spousal support, child support, domestic violence, division of property and numerous other aspects of divorce, like post-decree issues and visitation. The lawyers at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. are thoroughly knowledgeable in the various current laws to offer the best solutions possible for each unique case.

Once you are ready and prepared for divorce, you can count on the legal team at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. to thoroughly answer any questions you have about the legal process.

Contested Divorces In Illinois

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Contested divorces usually occur when either of the spouses are served notice and they do not respond or disagree with the grounds for divorce cited.  They may also have issues regarding the allocation of parental responsibilities, child support, spousal maintenance or issues regarding distribution of marital assets, such as retirement plans and family-owned businesses.

Whether a divorce is contested or uncontested depends upon the feelings the spouses have and the investments they have made in the marriage. The consideration of what is in the best interests of your children is also paramount in contesting a divorce.

How to Handle a Contested Divorce

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A contested divorce can be settled either amicably or in a hostile fashion. The spouse that is served notice can file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage if they wish. It is important to know that even a no-fault divorce can be a contested divorce. The spouses agree to grounds of irreconcilable differences and to not argue about any of the other nine grounds in Illinois law in a no-fault divorce. Even then, disputes may arise on matters such as allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, child support, spousal maintenance and the distribution of marital property.

Some of the common methods used to resolve a contested divorce are as follows:

Mediation

It is not mandatory in the state of Illinois to first attempt mediation when filing for divorce unless there are children involved. However, mediation can be worthwhile if you are close to resolving the crucial issues. Mediators are skilled and trained in helping you and your spouse to amicably arrive at an agreement. Attorneys may not represent you in mediation because the whole idea behind this process is for the parties to resolve issues on their own.

Arbitration

Contested-Divorces-in-IllinoisArbitration is a substitute for an in-court divorce trial if mediation proceedings reach an impasse. It is up to both parties to agree on and choose an arbitrator. The couple may also outline their terms as to what procedure is followed and the timeline for the arbitrator to make a decision. Similar to mediation, this approach is less stressful for the spouses and family. The aim of arbitration is to foster better communication and provide privacy unlike in a court trial. The arbitrator’s decision usually cannot be appealed.

Collaborative Divorce

Each spouse retains an attorney trained in collaborative law in the collaborative divorce process. Both parties and their attorneys work together and have several meetings to draft an agreement but other collaborative law professionals, such as financial professionals, personal coaches and child psychologists, may be retained to help resolve specific issues. If a complete agreement cannot be reached, the next step usually is litigation. Both parties will then need to retain new attorneys. In Illinois, collaborative divorce attorneys are disqualified from continuing your case.

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Litigation

If any alternate dispute resolution process that you have tried fails then your divorce issues will be resolved in court through a trial and it usually is part of the public record. In the event of a trial you need an attorney, contact the family law firm of Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. Ours have years of experience in Illinois law as well as with the county courts and judges.

Every Case is Unique

Fill out the form below to submit your case for a consultation.

5210 West 95th Street
Oak Lawn, IL 60453

708-425-9530

708-425-2454