Marriage can bring couples significant emotional well-being. However, when disagreements become the norm, a split is an inevitable result. Divorcing your partner shatters the physical and emotional bonds that initially kept the two of you together. The break from a husband or wife can be a devastating life blow and emotionally draining.
Physically, a divorce can wear you down and build up anxiety. Financially, a divorce is like a devastating hurricane that tears apart things you value, especially when mutual assets like property and savings accounts are involved.
Life after divorce may offer a new sense of freedom, as well as a new take on life without your former significant other. When your marriage produces children or legal matters are involved, however, the interaction between divorcees becomes a necessity. No matter how strongly you feel about your ex, there are manageable ways to deal with a former partner.
Here are 9 Tips to Deal with your EX after Divorce
Settle on a Communication Method
Email is probably one of the best ways to communicate with an ex. Emails do not have to be answered right away. Plus, when you email, you have a chance to reread the contents prior to hitting send, checking for any unnecessarily harsh language.
Texts, if you both agree, can be reserved for emergency communication that requires an immediate response. If you run into an unexpected issue and can’t pick up the kids from school, for instance, texting your ex to get the children is appropriate.
Some divorcees may even prefer voicemail as a preferred communication method. If you both agree on this form of messaging, keep the voicemails relevant, respectful, and brief.
Honor the Role of Your Child’s “Other Parent”
Children of divorcees often scramble between two homes, sharing time with each parent. Teach your children to respect the other parent. It’s beneficial for the children to grow up feeling the love of both parents. When the kids spend time with your ex, be happy that they have the opportunity to experience caring from the other parent. Experts note that varying styles of parenting can produce happy children. So, remember that your way is not the only best way to raise your kids.
Seek Support Elsewhere
Married couples are likely to discuss the needs of their children with each other. When you’re newly divorced, you may fall back on looking to your former spouse for support with the kids. Find new support systems to help with your children; turn to friends and family for assistance.
Protect Your Finances
If alimony or child support is involved after a divorce, handle any concerns through your divorce lawyer. Never plead with an ex to resolve any issues with finances.
Separate Physically
Upon a divorce, establish that your home is indeed your home—not your ex’s. This means your former spouse is a guest in your home if invited at all. Helping oneself to the contents of a refrigerator or entering the home without ringing the doorbell does not make a welcome houseguest—which is what a newly divorced individual becomes, even after an amiable divorce.
Detach Emotionally
Treat your new ex with cordiality, not familiarity. Protecting your privacy means stopping yourself from the natural impulse of sharing intimate feelings, personal fears, or other concerns. Refrain from conversing about anything that leads to an emotional tangle. If you have conversations with your ex, keep it businesslike.
Respect Each Other
Your once-ardent flame may have transformed into an unbearable annoyance, leaving you to seek the haven of divorce. When you encounter your ex, handle the communication with respect, no matter how difficult it may seem. Walk away from any yelling or inappropriate behavior. You are divorcees now, and the old ways that instigated the divorce are unacceptable.
Remember Your Ex’s Humanity
Divorcees are likely to unleash their claws and spew bitter hate toward one another. Remember, however, there was once a time when you vowed to spend the rest of your lives together in harmony, peace, and love.
Challenging as it may seem, keep in mind that your ex is undergoing a lot of the distress that you feel as well. View the world through your ex’s eyes, instead of just your own. The insecurity, frustration, and anger that is felt after a divorce is likely to be two-sided. Picture yourself in your former spouse’s shoes. If your ex is demanding, try looking at the situation from his or her perspective. Doing so is likely to soften your response and help achieve a win-win solution.
Work with a Divorce Attorney
A divorce can be one of the most painful events in an individual’s life. Divorces are often financially distressing and emotionally exhausting. When you need to sort through the avalanche of barriers that result from a divorce, turn to an experienced family law firm, like Berry K. Tucker & Associations, Ltd. Our family law attorneys help you reach an agreement on a wide range of divorce-related issues, such as child custody and visitation rights, spousal support and property division. If you and your ex signed a pre-nuptial agreement or a post-nuptial agreement, the attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. will help you understand all its benefits.
Messy divorces can result due to an infinite number of reasons, including domestic violence. In instances where accusations of domestic violence are involved, a family law attorney can represent you upon request. A stressful divorce may also involve disputes with retirement accounts, real estate, debt, and savings accounts. The family law attorneys at Berry K. Tucker & Associates, Ltd. have years of litigation and mediation experience, sorting through divisions of assets, including personal belongings and prized possessions, and will help you reach an agreeable solution.
Divorce is a headache in itself. A skilled family law attorney can ease the burden by efficiently handling the multitude of complex details that a divorce frequently involves. Build a strong partnership with a qualified family lawyer who will help you navigate through the myriad of physical, emotional, and financial problems associated with divorce.
